Home > Uncategorized > The Weekly Ferret Report 2 April 2012

The Weekly Ferret Report 2 April 2012

Welcome to The Cheap Ferret and this week’s edition of The Ferret Report. Every week, I will take a look at some of the week’s events and distil them into a small easily digestible nugget of coverage, accompanied by my own, possibly misguided opinion.

So the big news of the week here in the UK is that fuel delivery drivers possibly, maybe, almost certainly might go on strike. Perhaps. Because of this defiant show of indecisiveness, many people decided it would be a brilliant idea to go stock up on extra petrol. And by brilliant, I meant completely stupid.

Yes, petrol stations across the country were rammed on Wednesday onwards, as people felt the need to fill up their cars and jerrycans and plastic bottles and waterskins with the most precious liquid on the planet – petrol. Never mind that the threat of a fuel shortage is only exacerbated by people buying so much fuel that the petrol stations run out, people still did it.

Now, with petrol prices increased due to lack of supply, political commentators have been discussing what this means for David Cameron, who’s had the worst week of his career as PM lately. First the clandestine dinner meetings with big business leaders, then the “granny tax” and tax on sausage rolls, and now the petrol business, it seems like he just can’t catch a break.

But I don’t feel like discussing what this means for Cameron, I feel it raises questions about our attitudes as a nation. That we take a piece of misguided advice at face value instantly without properly researching the facts behind it. The same people who rushed out to buy petrol in hoards are now the same people complaining about the rise in petrol prices, despite the fact that, really, they were responsible for it. Blame the government’s misguided advice all you want, but if people had been a little more careful and not just had the usual British knee-jerk reaction to everything, we wouldn’t have had that “crisis”.

Yes, a strike would be an issue and reduce stocks of petrol, but surely rushing out and buying more than you did would also severely reduce stocks too? Why not look at the many ways you can reduce your petrol usage instead of hoarding a million jerry cans? It’s possible, and makes more sense than panicking and running around like you’re on fire. It’s not the apocalypse, it’s going to be a minor fuel shortage. One that we don’t even know the date for yet since negotiations are still going on. Keep cool. Take a deep breath. Everything is OK. Regain your common sense.

Speaking of a lack of common sense, the English Defence League have popped out of from under their bridges yet again, this time causing riots in Denmark. Now, that in itself raised questions. After all, surely trying to keep Denmark British is colonialism, and hardly helps your case when everyone’s calling you a bunch of xenophobic nutcases. Denmark don’t want to be British, they want to be Danish, and I say let them stay Danish.

But no, this wasn’t the beginning of some bizarre EDL world war, this was actually something even more illogical and downright weird. The EDL were in Denmark trying to recruit followers, and getting a far-right group there to assist their cause. Now, let me get this straight. Your organisation is devoted to a misguided cause of trying to protect Britain from being somehow destroyed by foreign influence, and to help you achieve this you went to another country to try and recruit a bunch of foreigners?

No, sorry, I’m not following this at all. I get you want more influence and want to recruit as many people as possible to your pointless, unnecessary campaign, but surely by recruiting non-British followers, you’re kind of defying your own cause. “We want Britain to be British!” sounds absurd when you have Danes in your ranks. Nothing against Denmark, obviously, but I’m just trying to wrap my head around the warped logic at work here.

The irony is lost on them, of course. Best leave them to go on shouting about Muslamic Ray Guns.

Meanwhile, in gaming news, Assassin’s Creed 3 has been announced, and details have been released. Now, while I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the series thus far, following the conspiracy-laden adventures of Desmond Miles and the historical epics that make up the backbone of the plot, I’m definitely interested in this new one.

No, it’s not because it aims to wrap up Desmond’s story, nor is it because it aims to be a huge epic frontier adventure set right in the middle of the American Revolution, it’s simply because in this game, you get to assassinate bears. Bears! Huge grizzlies! And you can sneak up on them and attack them in the same way you would a guard! I don’t care about anything else, this is now Game Of The Year.

That was the condensed news of the week. My name is L. Haydn Price and this was the Ferret Report.

For more Cheap Ferret goodness, feel free to follow me on Twitter, or check out the side blog Sven vs. The Movies. I’ll be back next week.

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