Archive for March, 2013

Pope Patch Notes Ver. 266

March 24, 2013 Leave a comment

Hm. I found this tucked down the back of the sofa. Not my sofa, you understand. Feel the world needs to know about it.

It’s taken a while to update you all on the situation, but after numerous requests, here are the patch notes for the new version of Catholicism Leader: Pope Deluxe.

This is a major update to the Catholicism Leader, and as such it is slimmer and lighter, and hopefully will run faster with twice the memory as the old version due to it running off a newer engine. We have named it Pope Francis I and will replace all existing versions of the old version, formerly known as Benedict XVI.

So here are the patch notes:

– Improved appearance to the UI. No longer resembles Emperor Palpatine due to potential copyright claim by LucasArts, now resembles Frank Butcher from British soap opera EastEnders. Not a huge improvement, but it was the best we could do.
– Improved compatibility with the poor. Old version was found to have glitches incompatible with what was written in the “Bible” user manual
– Improved efficiency on providing monetary compensation for services used in its operation, has already been tested with hotel bills with great success
– Reduced need for Popemobile mod for regular usage. New version now compatible with more open source forms of transport
– New version now no longer glitches if travelling on an elevator with others, improving stability

There are still, admittedly, some things that need testing. They are as follows:

– Compatibility with other religious leaders hasn’t been tested yet, and we will continue to observe this over time
– Due to the known Old Doctrine compatibility issues with Homosexuality and glitches that caused Child Abuse red flags, it’s unknown how well the new version runs alongside this

We know the new update isn’t perfect, however. During implementation, we noticed a glitch in the walking animation that makes Catholicism Leader: Pope Deluxe appear to walk with a limp. There was also an optical glitch that means the new version required additional frames to operate. These issues shouldn’t affect general operation, but will continue to be observed and patched at a later date if necessary.

Thank you for your patience in this upgrade. It took us a while, but we feel that Catholicism Leader: Pope Deluxe will be an improvement on the old version and hope you make good use of it.

Please note: the Church is not responsible for any deaths, dismemberments, divine miracles or Satanic possessions that may occur while using our product. If there are any issues, please contact God through prayer or via his Twitter account.


Gynophobic Gaming

March 20, 2013 1 comment

I came across this article where the developers of upcoming sci-fi adventure game, Remember Me, discuss their issues with trying to find a publisher for their game.

The reason they struggled is pretty ridiculous. They were refused by numerous publishers just because the protagonist lacks a penis. That’s right, the games industry that still suffers from the stereotype of being a boys’ club is refusing to address this by increasing the number of female protagonists that female gamers are likely to identify with.

Read more…